Thursday, July 27, 2017

rodeo girl

she moved to marfa 'cause the train comes to alpine
and it put him two-thousand miles away
starry skies at night and days mostly sunshine
rescued a horse and decided to stay

named the horse charley and finally threw a saddle
over charley's back when charley realized
might be better to bend and not battle
when he finally believed the look in her eyes

just like i did when i finally came around
to fightin' off fate and givin it a whirl
who'd've ever thought the damn circus clown
would ride off into the sunset with the rodeo girl

sam and willow: meet sam/train tracks revisited

in the first scene we meet sam, sunglasses, behind the wheel of his SUV, idling where the backroad in the middle of the southwest desert meets train tracks. straight strip of old highway on the other side, leading to a mirage of water at the distant false end of it.

not another vehicle in sight.

sam checks his watch.

finally: the golf ball-size soccer ball that dangles from the rearview starts to jiggle just before the crossing guard arms lower.

the sound of a TRAIN HORN in the distance.

the train finally arrives, fills the screen as it passes, then road dead ahead.

the arm raises, sam proceeds toward the mirage.


sam filling up, exchange with the 20-year-old girl who is headed to tucson to start school at "u-a." the click of the nozzle having filled her tank. she gets a phone call, excuses herself, it's her mom.

some checking up and her telling mom (and us) where she is.

she'll leave first -  bye, nice talking, drive safe - and then sam, having filled up, will go inside the station mart and return with a small brown bag.

once inside the cab, he pulls from the bag one airline-size mini-liquor bottle, opens and downs it, then does the same with a second, seen from the market teller's pov, following sam from the truck to a trash basket with the brown bag, then back to the truck.

sam gets a call, "dragnet" ringtone. he listens, some cryptic response, tells where he is, where he'll be that night. end call.

sam drives out of the lot and onto the backroad highway.

pecos: danny v.a. 1 sketch

we learn when henry comes into susan's house after the kokernot incident, to ice his hand, that danny, susan's son, the kid in the ranger uniform in the photo on the wall, is at the v.a. in big spring, in a kind of transition back post-afghanistan.

before big spring, he spent some time at an army hospital in europe, kind of a "debriefing period." in big spring he is taking part in a kind of experimental therapy re: ptsd.

but we don't learn that until after we have met danny in big spring, in therapy. he's recounting a dream he has had, about hunting in a place that could be home, could be over there. and he steps into a bear trap that wreaks havoc in his foot (through his boot) and lower leg.

and then the bear emerges, coming at him at a run.

some discussion of the dream, about sleep generally, about the meds, the group therapy. about his mother, whom he'll "call tonight."

how's the running?

great. he - danny - is about to go for one, eight miles.

see you tomorrow,  corporal.


(his therapist is in a wheelchair, perhaps an amputee. purple heart and bars. your wise and wounded
grandad with a buzz cut.)

danny on his run. ranger t-shirt. dude's in shape, fills it out. headphones. end run, a view of the facility. or: where can one run to from big spring?

he returns from the run to his dorm-type room to see his roommate dangling, having hung himself. danny stares. someone (o.s.) calls for todd, or danny, then finally enters, stares.

someone: have you called?

danny shakes his head.

i'll call.

danny nods.

his phone ringtones. he picks up.


hey mom.

just back from a run. everything okay?

mom, can i call you back in, like, half an hour?

nah, i'm fine, just gotta use the head. then i'll take a shower and call ya back.

love you too.

he ends call, puts phone in his pocket.

another ring tone, from the phone that lights up a front pocket of the pants the hanged man is wearing. danny fishes the phone from the pocket, looks at it, sets it down, stares at the hanged man. the someone else returns.

"on the way."

danny nods.

good morning

you'll have to leave me alone
every morning, i work
until noon.

i'll be out of bed
when your sweet dreams
are still lit by the moon.

coffee will be ready
if you are, then i will
see you soon.

pecos: the neighboring ranchera: cody

security at an imposing gate.

hacienda when we get there.

more security and dogs and glistening four-wheel drive SUVs.

a pool. young mexican women not wearing much.

cocaine readily accessible.

a gun room.

lamding strip for planes. (and a kind of control tower that will serve well as a sniper's position later.)

and CODY, 50-60, who owns the ranch.

jeans, fancy cowboy boots, western-style pearl-button shirt, cowboy hat and revolver in a holster.

(knife, too, sheathed in a boot.)

jesse. rapist that he is, sort of gets off on the wrong foot with cody when he takes liberties with one of cody's "attendants."

enrique, thus somewhat compromised, apologizes for jesse, who is not quite contrite. neither does he know, yet, who/what cody is.

pinched nerve causing some discomfort...and pecos

and thankful to not have chronic pain.

gobbling opioids just to limp through day and night.

i think danny - from pecos - has got a pain issue, besides the psychological damage.

searing pain. perhaps "only" occassional, results of embedded shrapnel.

dale - gotta change that name, but to what - gets around in a wheelchair. tank he was in rolled over a "kaboom box" and chewed up his feet and lower legs. he has a hearing issue. jesse supplies him the black tar the "v.a. won't put in their pharma-soup."

he is pleasantly surprised by the weed ana has shared with danny. as is sylvia when she stops by to surprise danny and ends up staying awhile.

as is earl when he finally breaks down on the hunt, when danny offers it again. he confesses he likes it and that josefina, his wife, has her own little garden.

earl walks with a limp. his huey was shot down in vietnam and he was captured, tortured and liberated when fellow marines came in. he drinks whiskey. the good stuff. and a lot of it.

he has the land through family from way back when "comanches rolled through here." and a story or two from the old days, and the guns.

josefina is - couldn't think of the title - the high priestess. her cat seems to always be around her.

casting, if i could: powers boothe as earl.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

tweet: lockhart: hang 'em high: inger stevens

watching it at mom's.

have never seen it before (haven't missed much) but/and didn't recognize nor had i ever heard of the hot blonde.

tweet lockhart nybc

watching this on tv, pretty cool.

l.a. steel versus lou collier (illinois), the "14U" age group.

kid last named jonah storey l.a. steel just killed one, out to left, bomb into the parking lot.

ah, the ping of aluminum.

have watched plenty of baseball while here.

some car shows, classic restoration and such.

some military history.

track and field.

some of all the alaska crap available but not so much after the first few days.

beer o'clock.

eric karros's kid just grounded a double down the left-field line.

fish are bitin', cotton is high.

that beach blonde (dream) again

they are seated on the sand farthest from the water.

if newport, they're, like, right off balboa.

the direction from which i come, with a surfboard under my arm, headed for the water.

i revisit and stop there because if it's the woman i'm darn near certain it is, her mars in pisces - given that my surfboard seema at least in part what turns her attention from the dark-haired man with her - is worth adding to this dynamic.

further, in point of fact, he, if he is who i am darn near certain it is, surfs. i do not. (i bodysurf.)

but i am the one with the surfboard here.

at the end of the dream, she has left him to join me down the beach (south) where i have walked for better waves.

"...letting the small child go..."


boots: the hunt: war room 1

earl has what he calls a "war room," high tech surveillance of his property via satellite, cameras, drones. this room leads into the "closet" that houses his gun collection, heavy on the rifle side.

henry has brought along - speaking of rifles - the bolt-action that he first used to kill a deer, with wade, the suicide-dead uncle from whom henry has inherited the cabin and acreage.

danny is using his (dead) father's.

in the war room, one wall is covered by a large framed and under-glass map of earl's property, and adjacent ranches. he explains to a very curious danny the lay of the land, and which draws and canyons lead to the pecos river.

danny asks if he can take a picture. sure, says earl, adds a topo map he pulls from a drawer.

"in case ya wonder off and get lost."

the room features a console attended by comfortable seating; monitor views to various portions of the property.

in fact a deer sets off a flash-photo of its pass-through.

earl pulls up a similar capture of a mountain lion.

danny may accept earl's offer to use one of his rifles, rather than his own, when he learns jesse is hunting on an adjacent property. a rifle with longer range.

would earl's m1 garand fit this?

tweet: in dave's room

not so much anymore; mom's taken out the bed and, anyway.

there's a creaky door thing - a cupboard - going on in here, that's kind of funny.

sometimes "not here anymore" lands louder than other times.

tomorrow i'll drive out to fentress, check on "my" spot on the river.

and remember dave at his spot on the same river, but in san marcos.

maybe i'll take some ashes with me.

pictures later.

the pretty flowers

each of the pretty flowers
in my bountiful bouquet
has its respective powers
to attract and sway.

i stare at each in turn
as if roses in rotation
and remember what i learn
by diligent notation.

it's indulgence i allow myself
and no great harm is done
to my flowers by whatever help
i am as rain and sun.


because i know what i have in my pocket,
i'll take the time required to craft
them into the parts that build my rocket
and make a launch pad of my raft.

dream: train nearing and "ditch lights" display

i'm standing to the side of the tracks, watching a train near.

seems like i'm on a path, standing with my bike. the path would, if it stays in the same direction, cross the tracks.

i flash the peace sign to the conductor, he blows the horn.

then, as he's slowing, near where i am, he flashes a light display that i have never seen before.

looked it up, they're called "ditch lights," and i had had never even heard of them.

where/when they are required.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

more queensbury motel: tv baseball

i probably said it before but it was kinda cool to sit back in my room in the evenings and watch the sox (red, duh) and yankees series, and to catch the show on up and coming (from the minors) yankees that the YES network runs.

more on new york later.

went out and took a few pictures of this place. maybe i'll post a few.

dream: kauri

but don't recall the specifics.

sometimes i wonder about anything unseen but alive within the "so you could find me" and the opportunity afforded me to get up, walk over and say hello (goodbye, actually) that day at the same place.

one of the more cryptic interactions yet experienced.

kauri 1

kauri 2

kauri 3

kauri 4

kauri 5

this has been a theme of sorts.

kauri 6

some "7."

kauri 7

Monday, July 24, 2017

armadilla: FM 1376: 911 first spin

when Bobby and Jeff drive to Luckenbach for Dave's show.

When all gather around the car - still primer, no paint - and Colleen's and Rayleen's dad asks which way they came up (from Comfort). And some more on the engine. Bobby hands him the keys, gets in the passenger seat.

Bobby has somewhat customized - power windows, new a-c, seats and interior, etc. - but kept with the style signature of the car's era.

found it online, a shed up in odessa. belonged to the widow of the man who owned it, a project he never got around to. bobby's kept in touch with the widow, is sending her pictures of the work in progress. gonna stop by and on the way to o-k-c in september.

further context.

armadilla: lucille 1

lucille, bobby's ex-wife, lives in houston, where she has moved from nacogdoches, following a divorce that ends twenty-three years of marriage to the father of her two kids, 21 and 19, both out of state for college.

she is retired, a former high school teacher.

she met bobby a couple years after he'd returned from vietnam. she's a couple years younger. this was in galveston, "a lifetime ago." they were both a little on the wild side. bobby was fishing, she was a cocktail waitress with a plan to get to nashville. a shortcut or two landed bobby in prison, briefly, but long enough for lucille to see the light and make a break.

her divorce from her dentist husband has moved her to houston, for a "new start, again."

and she keeps a blog as a kind of chronicling of her "molting." maybe we meet her buying a new acoustic guitar.

i wonder if she'll have a poem about "that old nine-eleven." (bobby, remember, is putting together a '74 targa.) 

probably he had and wrecked one "out on the devil's backbone" back in those days.

armadilla: bobby and lucille's blog 2

the night jeff throws out the first pitch (in amarillo), bobby is on lucille's blog. he's watching the video she has made of her open-microphone poetry night at the cafe in houston.

bobby is surprised when she introduces a poem about and to her "ex-husband bobby, who's found my blog by now." she adds his military history "as context."

she reads it. bobby is rapt. she finishes. bobby clicks it off must as the audience begins to applaud. he sits in silence, but for the chirp of a cricket.


murdering pornsters on the run: missoula 1

they arrive in missoula, get two rooms - victorie and sissy in one, chuck and billy in another - but too soon to check in.

they've been in a rental victoria arranged; she's driving.

plan is to get to canada. chuck has inherited property deep in the woods. there'll be the split of the spoils, of course, then each on their own way.

we've aready seen sissy's drive-by her parents' place in southern utah.

we know their drugs of choice.

and by that the time we reach missoula, chuck and billy need some more "help." they arrange a deal that goes south.

but first sissy takes a bus ride "to wherever" and ends up at the university (of montana) and sits in on michael's lecture.

later she'll see him in a cafe, strike up a conversation. he's grading papers.

victoria will steal a pickup truck. have to. and transfer all the goodies from the rental to the truck. but more on that later.

a delay in the drug deal causes them to have stay an extra night. victoria is not pleased. chuck assures them they'll take care of it early as possible.

victoria discovers a peephole/camera in the room she shares with sissy.

a member of the team that has what chuck wants is of the "fuck l-a" sentiment, but the guy handing it over (for cash) knows someone who knows someone who knows chuck's los angeles connect so chill.

discussion on where to meet. down by the river. a chuckle. then laughter. they're all high as fuck, glassy-eyed stupidhappy.

someone sings: i love l-a.


let me see that thing.

a glock is pulled from a glove compartment.

CUT TO:  chuck and billy and their own handguns, in their room.

victoria in the gun store, getting a handgun. she meets all the qualificatioms.

woild she like to shoot it first?

no. i know how it works. thanks.

to be cont'd.

dream bubble: "hexagram 42, line 5."

and that was that.

dream: Lani direct approach and in-my-face arrival

"here i am"?

Sunday, July 23, 2017

tweet texas time

drove mom to k's in san marcos for an exchange, then a wal-mart stop - beer - on the way home, but first drive-thru fried chicken and mashed potatoes.

now nascar at mom's in lockhart.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Yi 1475: miss alaska: "you're cute" revisited

pecos: the hunt: more talkinamyself

danny brings along some of the weed he got from ana maria. he has opted to forego his v.a.-prescribed med program. ana maria dances in a club in el paso. the weed is cali.

earl is old school, not real down with mary jane, but after listening to a little more from danny re: his "issues" and v.a. situation, he's cool with whatever gets a soldier through the night.

danny promises the dad from illinois he won't do it around the daughter, amy.

dad appreciates that but he's a true believer, thus flexible with danny where he might not be with another. also common sense, sees what's coming.

earl drinks, he brings tequila and his own war story.

which tends to happen at campfire time. danny tells a sniper story.

earl was a prisoner of war in vietnam.

amy will ask danny, away from everyone, what would happen to her if, making ranger, she were to be taken prisoner. danny let's her know.

where is josefina from?

earl found her on his property, near-death, headed north from durango. she doesn't say a single word in english, until the end, maybe, right before she proves herself fluent in shotgun.

earl also found josefina's dead daughter.

josefina occassionally visits a an old tarot-type deck of cards.

dream: McP and me

in an auditorium-type setting.

at least a couple others in the space.

higher education?

she's several chairs down our row to my left. taking notes. i see her.

she finally looks up, a glance, then a stare, then she looks down as if pretending to have not recognized me, or maybe she didn't.

the beard and hat.

but later - different dream - we're about to leave together, after she uses the bathroom (or something lime that).

i give her a hug before she leaves; she's (still) a little uncomfortable with public displays of affection.

McP dreams shake the tree like no other.


what is it?

the circuitous route?

what does she get from this?

Friday, July 21, 2017

pecos: the hunt: erasing enrique

one of the DEA guys lined up enrique and takes him out, thus startling jesse, who'd been in danny's (sometimes donny's) scope.

now danny's scrambling back to earl's fence, which he's cut. 

no. which is ALREADY cut.

as is the DEA shooter.

and when each reach that fence a red blip flashes under josefina's eyes on the radar back home in the "war room." hell, they're on candid camera.

and/or directly under a hovering drone.

DEA guy patches the hole - so likely earl on that side of the fence - and high-tailing it back home. but a shooter on the other side (or not) has night-vision help and plinks DEA. 

when danny goes to check, guess what he finds.


OR they let them through, don't patch the fence.

shooter on other side w/night-vision gets DEA who is not so equiped. but danny is and takes the other guy out, and the guy with him.

then gets the hell out of there.

under the surveillance of josefina.

who radioes (sp?) earl, who lets everyone know.

OR keeps it to himself.

he knows what danny has removed from the dead DEA guy.

but does the other DEA guy (one is still with us) know? and where is he?

who's on first.

and what's happening on the other side of the (high) fence?

pecos: doh. neighboring ranches, etc., talkinamyself

earl's abuts another.

donny identifies - and/or confirms through dale - enrique's plane flying in jesse to the adjacent ranch, identified by earl on the fly-over.

this is why, by the way, dale, eddie and allan (d-e-a, y'all) are along on the hunt, proximity to that adjacent ranch, with pecos river frontage (by the way).

donny already knows jesse's off on a hunt, because he's borrowed dale's - dale will become ron, i think - deer rifle.

which is chipped and easily trackable from the veritable control tower he has made of his double-wide bunker in the terlingua area.

but what does the colonel - earl - know about his neiglhbor, other than he has some money in trying to get a professional soccer team (or something, blah blah blah, to be determined) to the trans-pecos.

and the attorney down from pennsylvania with his 16-year-old daughter for their first wild wild west deer hunting.

josefina - comanche ancestry - is so hot a wild card here i can barely not stare at her in my hand.

neighboring ranches. that's the ticket.

and illegals - or something more - traipsing through the middle of it.

someone will lose a rifle. someone else will find one.

the daughter will absolutely refuse assistance re: cutting and cleaning her kill; her dad has taught her well and she is an eager learner. out comes the knife, in goes the blade.

a reflection of sunlight will betray someone's position on a ridgeline.

d-e-a have been lured in. one will display to us thr effects of a long-distance head shot.

or maybe horrific torso carnage.

no. headshot for sure. these guys sleep in kevlar.

donny has his shot at jesse but passes in it. he wants to kill him up-close.

donny loses henry, who suspects what donny's agenda is.

of course the colonel - earl - is in on it. at least leasing out fly-over space for what he damn well knows is going on. i think earl will likely literally put his ear to the ground on this hunt.

what's this girl's name? amy. for amelia. i think she may well dispose of a javelina that comes toward her with some urgency. or at least a rattlesnake. or glass jar in a campfire-time shooting contest.

she wants to join the army. be a ranger. guess what. meet donny. his story. more on dale. (who's name will change or donny's will, and it will, to danny, and dale to...ah, later)

so amy gets an earful of real army ranger. we learn more about earl's and experience in vietnam, flying helicopters.

another plane flies in toward the neighboring ranch, lights blinking against the starry skies.

pecos: the hunt: kill 1

the kid (with her dad) gets the first shot.

meet the deer. out in the open with another. sunrise.

deer through the scope. whispered discussion of distance and waiting.

back to deer as it receives the round - we get a view of the exit blowhole - a split-second before we hear the shot.

the fallen deer leaks blood.


dad looking through the binoculars. a high-five.

others looking through binocs.

kid - beth, for elizabeth - is asked how many that is. he tells us. but this is her longest shot. they hunt in the dense woods of pennsylvania. (yes, ode.)

bubba can't help but tell a tale tale.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

tweet: watching o.j. simpson parole hearing


juice diggin' a hole for himself with his mouth.

still the quick grin and easy chuckle.

don't see charm cuttin' it.

still not really his fault. a thing that happened.



and his horseshit attorney.

we'll see.

edit, post-judgment. juice off-tackle and into the backfield. let the circus begin.

my opinion is he survived his own testimony.

but given the crime, he's done the time.

still strikes me as immune to contrition.

what'll he do with it?

another coincidence: bike therapy

so i'm sitting here watching the tour de france, stage 18, the climb to the finish just 'round the corner, and i've been considering that DC (in my sequel to dowhill racer) uses the bike to help the at-risk teen he encounters (and takes in) when he travels to boise for the at-risk function.

and the tour goes to break and an odd commercial comes on - i have the volume muted - that i can't figure out until they flash the graphic at the end, and i see it's how a bike ride a day can help kids with  adhd.


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

santa ana college coincidence

so i'm watching some cape cod league baseball on tv, and for whatever reason i'm also remembering ms. santa ana college, and i look up and an in-between-innings interview is with the manager of the wareham team (they're playing brewster) (as in BREW-stuh), who is don sneddon, the baseball coach at santa ana college forever until recently.

but what'll she see in it?

tweet: lockhart, tx

having arrived from new york (albany to newark to austin) monday afternoon, the most stressful travel day i have yet experienced. perhaps more on that later but more likely not.

but definitely more later on the few days upstate.

i'm in "chaparral" now a little cafe-type place in the town square (of lockhart). double-espresso and wi-fi, having earlier watched a great stage 17 of the tour de france.

sat down yesterday morning with Armadilla, 'cause that's what started coming out of the pen, and, four or five hours later, monster progress, "out of nowhere," and now seems a very good chance i might darn well get that completely stepped out while i'm here.

surprise, surprise.

uncle bob, abigail and alexander

Saturday, July 15, 2017

two miss alaska dreams last night

odd. not like she's on my mind.

first, and it seems like maybe my grandmother's house.

i see a small puppy, near and facing the street. i am concerned it might run into the street so i go and get it it, pick it up. when i turn around, there's miss alaska to retrieve her dog. she turns and walks up the driveway toward the house.

again, SEEMS like that house.

doesn't say anything to me.

miss alaska, does in fact have a miniature-type dog. in fact the last time i saw miss alaska was at dublin's and she had her dog wih her.

she seemed also to have had a drink (or two) elsewhere before coming in. she also threw me a bit of a look that i have seen before, indicative of attraction. 

at any rate, it became apparent she needed some help and an uber was called, that i helped her into when it arrived. 

in the second dream - how weird, two in a night - she was definitely at my grandmother's house, inside and laying on the couch. 

and seemingly (well, certainly) a bit under the influence but in happy mode. when i approached the couch and leaned over her, looking at her, she said "you're cute," smiling at me, and perhaps said something else but maybe not.

i stroked her face and chin with the back of my hand.

end dream.

remembered related

Friday, July 14, 2017

Yi 1474: going underground

"flee to your support" and "leave, go out and far away"

perhaps more on this realization/decision later.

quentin tarantino dream

i'm outside, with other people, seems like night, and i'm watching his (what i'll call) antics, interacting with people near the sidewalk he seems to be on.

maybe they're antics to me because of my own take on his particular cinematic "style." maybe.

at any rate, then i'm INside, at what seems like maybe some kind of party he's throwing. but it's not a house, it's a space, with different rooms, one of which, the one i walk toward, is filled with people sitting at tables.

i guess i'm invited but it's like, meh, whatever, not my scene, and do i even want to be there.

but i AM there, and it's probably not a bad thing.

and once inside, no more tarantino to be seen.

not by me, anyway.

i am sure - this is neither here nor there - he would be well-suited to the bloodletting in the the hunt part of pecos.

anyway. prob'ly indicative of "closer."

kelly bubble...

...came to the surface from the bottom of my ocean late last night, pulled up by a program on tv - and i'm staying in queensbury,  NOT glens falls, for those keeping track - that was lending some background on how the tom petty/stevie nicks duet, stop draggin' my heart around, came to be.

won't belabor this, just to note for the record the emotion that came with the bubble.

but how to describe it? sad? yes. a kind of sorrow, maybe; regardless, a weight in my heart that did not surprise me so much as caught me off guard.

i should be grateful, though, for the connection and so i embrace it and say:

thank you, my gypsy.

i hope you are well.



Wednesday, July 12, 2017

vacation: day 1: newark/nwayk

and a long day it has been, starting with the red line to the flyaway bus at union station los angeles to LAX for the 12:30 a.m. american flight to charlotte, where i had breakfast in the airport at the stock car cafe, then waited a few more hours for the flight to newark where i met my mom, who'd flown from austin.

picked up the rental from enterprise - about as smooth as they run it at SFO - for the considerably less smooth (quite bumpy, actually) transition toward getting the fuck out of newark and on the road to glens falls, new york, where we are now, in our rooms, after mexican food dinner.

a young dude who works at a starbucks in a target in newark helped me get on the right track. (i had walked in to see if they had a starbucks so as to use the wi-fi to figure out how to find my way. something i should have done before leaving l.a.)

we're for a few days to see sarah,  my niece,  and her two young children, who are stationed nearby in saratoga springs because her husband sean (abigal and alexander's dad) is, a navy submariner.

the drive was nice enough - lots of woods - but made not-so, for a stretch on 287, by a downpour that made the windshield wipers almost not quite enough.

we came out of dinner to rain and lightning, and it's raining now, which is fine by me; let it, i'll sleep better. (although given how scorched-tired i am right now, i'll sleep well.

then get off to exploring the area tomorrow.

anyway, now that the drudgery of getting here is done, anf i am in my room, let vacation begin.

we fly to austin monday morning, then texas time for me for a couple weeks.

which, to understate, i am in need of.

and blessed to have.

right now i am burnt toast.

bet i have at least one great dream to give some thought to tomorrow.

time for a cold one now and to check the local news.

then: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017


you fall flat.
you lose your purse.
the slap that finally wakes.

and knowing that
the next time's worse
if that's what it takes.

sometimes kersplatt
cures the curse
and so the bough breaks.

Yi 1473: less asking questions

lucid dream jaq: hands-on and hands off!

a few lucid last night.

I am in a room with jaq and other people. and by now I am pretty aware that nobody can see me.

I touch a woman as I walk by and she flips my hand away from her, without looking up.

so, she felt it but, did she see me?

and maybe it's then that I see jaq and when walks around me I touch her ass - hey, I'm lucid, I can do this, it's science, sort of - and she whirls around, quite unpleased with the liberty that has been taken, and barksnarls at the woman next to me, you're the only one I see. 

Yi 1472: if i just keep writing...?