Monday, October 31, 2016

my halloween pumpkin

hair by wrapping paper.

mouth by styrofoam cup.

ears by toilet paper rolls.

eyes by light bulb and black sharpie.

nostrils by screwdriver.

Yi 395: Annamarie 4

re: "Unchanging":  Two people are affecting each other in a mutual way and the connection endures even without communication.  

would have to.

Yi 394: my blog and young Ms. Kim 2

found object re: changing line 2:

Line 2 Sincere joyousness, good fortune = remorse disappears. Changes to (17) Following. There is no greater pathway to joy than to understand your own sincerity. We follow others and often become lost. Life tests our sincerity so that we discover what we really want and what is right for us. However, after a misunderstanding, you may need to trust in following another’s initiative even when the way seems foreign. Joy experienced by trusting or discovering sincerity of the heart is true joyousness.

to be

It's the quieting effect
through sheer proximity
that moves me to inspect
the source of harmony.
Is it all what I project?
Is it all just me?
Or am I finally correct
and where I'm meant to be?

Yi 393: upstairs revisited, again

Sunday, October 30, 2016

run 5

managed to complete this morning's half-marathon without walking, except to piss at the coliseum and to grab a gatorade a couple times.

slow as a snail but it's a start and i'll take it.

last little downhill, wilshire to the right turn at fig, really jarred the quads but managed to throw what little surge i had left in the tank over thr last 100 yard stretch.

anyway, didn't walk.

the two-hour run three weeks ago paid dividends.

now to get back in the saddle (bike) and lifting weights.

the endurance is natural; time to focus more on power and speed. (related found object.)

the event ends near where i live, so a quick walk home, into the jacuzzi, followed by laying down on the bed, turning into a good nap.

feel good at the eight bar right now. waiting for my "perfect breakfast brunch" bowl to arrive.

already sipping on the jog-well-done IPA.


feels good, and a good segue into keeping it going.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

elko 1

ext diamond valley nevada day

alkali salt flat, distant mountains.

cloudless sky.

a tumbleweed stumbles through.

otherwise, nothing but flat giving way to a sea of sage and scrub.

SOUND OF GALLOPING faint but nearing, heavier and louder until like a land rocket an army-green larger-than-life QUARTER HORSE on steroids, with a RIDER in military-style uniform in the saddle, bullets into frame, and accelerates away at a striking rate of speed, soon enough a distant small object aimed at the mountains.


Rider POV.

High-tech console, Speedometer has us at 80. Button on the horn of the saddle.

"Our" gloved ahead on the reigns as if on the handles of a motorcycle. Our horse's army-green mane whips straight back in the wind.

Et cetera.

COLONEL calls from Pentagon, red  light on the saddle's console, sleek and computery.

SARGE, the rider, picks up.

Colonel just checking in. Slow day at the office. Which he's in. Laptop open. He's got them on screen, live, a bird's eye view, from above. Mounted machine gun - by the way - practically waiting in the  corner with the window, cracked into spiderweb by some projectile.

He comes in loud and clear in the speaker in the pommel.

Why the hurry? (The Colonel has noted PRIVATE's (the horse's name) speed.)

Sarge tells him of a reading that indicates explosion in a particular area.

The Colonel wonders when.

Sarge tells him. Recently.

A flash in a window on the console.

Sarge tells him, now another, same place.

Go find out.


And away they go.

The colonel hits a couple keys on and his screen shows chaos in what looks like a prison, smoldering and crater-holed.



Meet Donny in therapy. Bear trap dream. How is the change in med's helping?

Henry working on the gate at the road. Dogs supervising. EARL drives up. We learn more about Henry's uncle; Earl hadn't heard the news. Henry invites him in for a beer.

A dog house built onto the deck and the gym fixed up. Earl sure likes his work; maybe Henry'd be interested in making a couple dollars out at his place, some home improvement. Henry's agreeable.

The grocery store. Henry bumps into Susan, who - after a pause to consider the bold move - mentions she has an extra ticket to a baseball game at Kokernot. It's a date. 

Susan at lunch with her friend LYDIA. More on Donny, who'll call her "tonight."

Henry finishes taking clippers to hair, puts them to his beard.

Donny finishes a jog, heads back to housing, finds roommate having hung himself. He stares awhile before feeling for a pulse. A roommate arrives - we hear the door, the anybody home, the footsteps, the entry.

have you called anyone?

just got here. today's his birthday.

Susan at home, assessing herself in the mirror, brushing her hair. Ringtone, she smiles, leaves the room.

We hear her: Hey baby, how ya doin'?

Donny catches her up, change in meds. She says he sounds a little down. Just tired, had a long run, maybe he'll sleep better. A sound jars him, he drops the phone. Wraps up the call, will call her tomorrow night. Love yous. Susan's face shows concern. Roommate comes in. We need to get drunk, bro. They leave.  

Donny's car. Roommate and a bottle of whiskey. Roomate finds handgun under his seat. In case I've got a passenger and things go sideways.

He pulls out the gun from under his seat.

Henry and the dogs on the deck, night. Sally calls, distraught about Bill, who's leaving their house on a gurney, tubes up his nostrils. End call.

Yipping of coyotes sets the dogs off.

Shut up.

They do, and sit.  

Come here.

They do.

He pats their heads.

I'm sorry.


Pecos and Elko

Elko was the first screenplay I started, back, what, how many years ago I took Michele's class at LACC.

Had it pretty stepped-out up to maybe the halfway point, with a decent enough idea where it was heading.

Stopped when I realized, first, that what I had in mind would cost a helluva lot of money, and it would take a lot of time (and research) to write. I put it down and began Armadilla, which is pretty well-formed, too.

But, re: Pecos, Elko is a similar "vision" but set in the future; though, given the tide in this country, perhaps not-so-distant. Boots is Dodge City is here now.

Elko is more where the shit has blown having hit the fan.

And Elko (Nevada, and/or the region) is a kind of geographical border-zone. Civil war, if not declared as such, has rent the nation into militarized factions and this and that and a secret prison camp holding captured soldiers and certain character named Sarge who patrols a particular territory on horseback.

And my, what a horse.

And what a soldier, Sarge.

Anyway. It is absolutely a "Big" movie and it'd be nice to be able to get back to it at some point, but first things first, and for now, Pecos, and a hunt. 

I see the bad moon arising
I see trouble on the way
I see earthquakes and lightnin'
I see those bad times today

the tide'll tell ye.


Henry arrives in Alpine to assume the cabin. We meet Charles and Bruce, introduction to things cabin - the property, the Suburban in the shed, the guns - then they leave (after having loaded the refrigerator).

Henry at home. The Suburban (and other) in the shed. The rifles. The pistol.

The generator and septic tank. The water tank. The derelict windmill.

The rudimentary gym: weights, pull-up bar, etc., and beat-to-hell punching bag barely hanging from a cracked beam.

Home improvement requires a drive to the hardware store in Alpine.

On the way out of town he hears dogs barking and notes the shelter.

Henry starts work on a back porch deck. Shirt off, we see the tattoos, and that Henry's fit.

Henry watching TV news, night, call from Bill/Sally, catching up.

Henry - beard forming - out on a jog, remote dirt road, sunrise. Recent rain allows him to see the big animal tracks crossing the road. He takes a picture of one big pawprint with the phone he pulls from the pocket of fanny-pack that holsters (hint, hint) a water bottle, continues his jog after a long look in the direction the animal was heading.

Henry, right out of the shower, looks it up on the laptop; yep, mountain lion.

Interior shelter. Meet SUSAN, 50-something, who runs the place, and her two assistants, 20-something women. Barking in the back. Window to the street, and hey, there's the Suburban turning into a parking space across the street - gets Susan's attention - and him getting out, waiting for traffic to pass, the crossing aimed for the shelter. Susan looks away just as the door obscures Henry just before he walks in through it, ringing a bell.

Wondering if this is the place to come to if I wanna take a couple dogs home.

Exterior shelter. Henry and Susan and the two dogs to the Suburban. A little about where Henry lives. Susan's son has a friend out that way. Where's her son. At the V-A in Big Spring. She hands him her card. Two happy dogs hop into the Suburban, heads out the window.

Henry shows her the pawprint picture. Big kitty-kat. Adult male.

He drives away. She watches. He sees her in the rearview mirror and watches as she crosses the street.

The assistants in the shelter, watching through the window.

Susan enters, they're waiting.

A1 He's hot for an old guy.

S I hadn't noticed.

A 2 Clearly.

A1 It was obvious.

S Oh stop it.

A man comes in with a question about a horse.


Donny in talk-therapy. Therapist in wheelchair. A dream about a bear trap. He's stepped into one, barefoot, and then the bear shows up.

found fortune 31

sidewalk, flower and 5th, this morning 


as always.

dream: talking to willie nelson about screenwriting

He was genuinely curious and engaged, keeping his eyes on me as I spoke, self-consciously - I'm talking to willie nelson about writing? riiiiiiight - and respectfully, referencing his own songwriting in reference to having more than one thing going at a time.

we sat across a table from each other.

very attentive, very interested, listening.

like, it sorta seemed, he's interested in writing one.

maybe not.


kinda odd, this almost-certain feeling I've had that our paths will cross.

but, I'm crazy. 

Friday, October 28, 2016

Yi 392: Annamarie 3

Yi 391: dream: i am Ferdinand Magellan

Yi 390: public display of "insight"

said he was from Texas, I told him where. 

actually, he looked a little stunned.

Yi 389: dream: all fine w/Kr, then usual impasse

basically, things all find and good between us, warming up, friendliness, maybe even hint of warmth then, hello, a conflicting desire.

that, in essence, says very close to everything. cartoon-clear context.

I want this, she wants that, the usual dance, during which, and after she says something, I consider simply turning and walking away.

but i don't. I listen, let her finish.

then replay for her exactly what was said and state what I understood, and that's good enough for me. thanks, seeya.

later, I hear her tell someone (?) in her house to "be quiet."

point of this being, the crystal-clear realization of a "thing" that's just there, been there, going to be there and that to pretend otherwise would be really stupid.

ding ding ding.

dream: walking on logs,then gator.

Realized before I saw the gator that I could mistake log for big lizard.

Then I saw it, it's olive hide darn near hidden within the brown of the bark.

Gator's eyes like bubbles on the lake-ish water.

Still have to get across - maybe it's a river - but good to know what's about.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Yi 388: jealous people

Legge: The first line, dynamic, seems to be thus addressed: "You leave your efficacious tortoise, and look at me till your lower jaw hangs down.” There will be evil.
Wilhelm/Baynes: You let your magic tortoise go, and look at me with the corners of your mouth drooping. Misfortune.
Blofeld: You released your sacred tortoise and stared at me with mouth agape -- misfortune! [The shells of tortoises were used for divination. Here, the implication seems to be that someone abandons his sacred duty in his greed (symbolized by ‘mouth agape') to obtain what he wants from the person to whom “me” refers. It may be that contemporaries of the authors of the I Ching were familiar with a story to which this sentence pertains.]
Liu: If you leave your divine tortoise and look at me with mouth drooling, there will be misfortune.
Ritsema/Karcher: Stowing-away simply the psyche tortoise. Viewing my pendant jaws. Pitfall.
Shaughnessy: Dispensing with your numinous turtle, and viewing our shortened jaw; inauspicious.
Cleary (1): Abandoning your spiritual tortoise, you watch my moving jaw – this is unfortunate.
Cleary(2): To give up your sacred tortoise and watch me greedily leads to misfortune.
Wu: “Abandon your spiritual tortoise and watch me with your mouth watering.” Foreboding.
Confucius/Legge: He thus shows himself unfit to be thought noble. Wilhelm/ Baynes: This is really not to be respected. Blofeld: Looking at me like that is hardly to be regarded as admirable behavior. Ritsema/Karcher: Truly not the stand to value indeed. Cleary(2): To watch me greedily is not worthy of respect. Wu: He who watches with his mouth watering is also unworthy of respect.
Legge: The first line is dynamic and in his proper place. He might suffice for the nourishing of himself like a tortoise, which is said to live on air. But he is drawn out of himself by desire for the magnetic line four, his proper correlate, at whom he looks till his jaw hangs down, or, as we say, his mouth waters. Hence the auspice is bad. The symbolism takes the form of a reprimand addressed by the fourth line to the first. As Mencius said, "He who attends his smaller self becomes an inferior man, and he who attends to his greater self becomes a superior man."
Siu: At the outset, the man is envious of the prosperity of others.
Wing: You are so actively aware of the prosperity of others that you lose control of your own destiny. This is deplorable behavior and will result in misfortune.
Editor: This line is a reprimand for an unworthy attitude. Since in China the tortoise was associated with divination, it refers to a higher realm of perception.

more Wilhelm: The magic tortoise is a creature possessed of such supernatural powers that it lives on air and needs no earthly nourishment. The image means that a man fitted by nature and position to live freely and independently renounces this self-reliance and instead looks with envy and discontent at others who are outwardly in better circumstances. But such base envy only arouses derision and contempt in those others. This has bad results.

Yi 387: people finding out

Yi 386: Annamarie 2

though since quarantined...

well, it certainly would've been Clear enough.