Tuesday, May 31, 2016

VFW Memorial Day weekend

Trained to Clayton's Sunday and in short order had Uber'd to VFW post 6885  for the day. Clayton was in the Navy, I was his guest and the occasion coincided with the departure of the post Commander and his wife, who was also heavily involved - they met in Afghanistan - who are moving to Florida. 

I particularly enjoyed my discussion at the bar with Nic Nichols, an 80-something veteran of the Korean War. Given the spunk still in him, I imagine he was one tough son of a gun on his boat.

That night many of the folks who were there transitioned to the post up the road, referred to as "ten," basically a bar, where I listened to some of the worst karaoke I have endured, including one man's ear-stabbing rendering of Nights in White Satin that put added emphasis on "never reaching the end."

Judging by my limited exposure, the VFW might be the place to go if one does not smoke but seeks to expose oneself to enough second-hand smoke to kill an elephant in a year.

Some liquor gets consumed, too. 

Also, National Geo channel was featuring war-related programming o'er the weekend and I caught a few hours of Vietnam-related material. My Lai brought a lot back from my memories from childhood.

A rich weekend; I feel like I gained a little "weight" somehow, by mere fleeting proximity.  

Pecos certainly benefitted.


more feathers: dream and find

dreamt again (sunday night) of feather (white) in pocket.

actually, outside of pocket, like attached to it.

and/or like so I could plainly see it.

then waking, going outside (clayton's in canyon country), half-expecting to see one, seeing one in the yard, from a red tail hawk.(related.)


Saturday, May 28, 2016


white feather

"flew" off the bookshelf this morning as i walked by.

Friday, May 27, 2016

found fortune 26

in cookie left over from function.  


she flutters her eyelids, the dogs lap it up
like cream they're missing at home.
she offers her cleavage in between cups
to the pups like a succulent bone.

she's a little unsteady on top of the heels
she wears to add lift to her ass,
as if on a bike with training wheels
or a lawnmower battling grass.

she shops in her sleep, cruising through saks
for killer bags and the stunning skirt
she'll never find shining on nordstrom's racks,
so bling it'll make her girlfriends hurt. 
her sexy voice is affectation



boots 158: diner revisited

[follows opening scene square dance]

tom and wanda seated across from each other in a booth with a window to the sidewalk and street.

early sunset.

the window frames two pickup trucks, one older, the other shiny-new, parked at the curb, facing the diner, wyoming plates.

light pedestrian traffic.

tom's hat on a hook.

laramie boomerang (newspaper) in a loose pile near the window, near wanda's purse. 

tom, spectacles on now, hovers his pencil over the mostly-filled newspaper crossword.

wanda is enjoying watching a hawaii helicopter ride video on her device. or so the embedded "aloha" in the upper left corner of the screen would indicate.

both sip from coffee mugs.

remnants of a fried chicken dinner on plates pushed toward the aisle until a busboy arrives to whisk them away.

tom breaks the silence with the lanai ("pineapple island patio") answer in the crossword.



Thursday, May 26, 2016


(with a twang, y'all.)

she surprised everyone and moved to west texas
says she likes the quiet and space
from her porch she imagines when old t-rexes
had the run of the place

she got a dog from the shelter and then another
and a cat she calls billie jean 
bought an old pickup from her best friend's brother
and painted it red army green

and i tell her i'm happy to hear that
to send me a picture or two
she's found her spot
right where i'm not
good think I look good in blue

she takes walks every mornin' in time with the sunrise
comin' up purple and gold
says the stars at night put a sight in her eyes
makes her feel a million years old

she paints everyday and has picked up the fiddle
has plans to go back to school
sometimes I think she might miss me a little
but everybody plays the fool


boots 157: barbara's home office revisted

upstairs and down the hall from chloe's room.

above the garage, window view to the driveway, wide leafy avenue, handsome home across the street, and san luis mountain beyond.

wind-chimes at the window.

ceiling fan.

small faintly gurgling rock fountain.

a photographer's home office. framed photos cover the walls except where the loaded but modest bookshelf is, near a chair at a table under a lamp. 

the largest photo is a surfing magazine-worthy poster-sized capture of a teenage girl in a pink bikini working a cutback move on the lip of the wave she is surfing. far beyond, across blue ocean, a distant island. her dreads splay out like wet rope from her head. 

in another, she smiles back at the camera, heads rested on mitted hands on snowboard. she wears a helmet, goggles atop. mask resting on chin. snowy trail through woods behind her.

in another, she has her hair pulled back in a tail and has just kicked the soccer ball that is frozen mid-air on its flight toward our point of view at the back of the net. the goalie is laid out but the ball seems likely well out reach.   


boots 156: carson's home office revisited


warm light through the big window view aimed at the up-close organ mountains.

old wooden desk near the door back of the room, aimed at the window. laptop. stacks of legal pads. coffee mug holding pens and pencils. a book. (pick one.) (connell.) a small globe. propped framed photo of 16-year-old girl peeking out from around the surfboard she's holding. turquoise ocean behind her.

wall of filled bookshelves. (and a couple old typewriters and other knick-knacks.)

old leather sofa against the opposite wall, under a (charles m.) russell. (pick one.)

turntable on a crate filled with albums, near the sofa.

potted cactus on the other side of the sofa.

telescope near one side of the window, recliner on the other, near lamp on small table. 

wooden floor. navajo rug. 

back wall, behind the desk, covered in photographs. (tom will give them a good going-over.) and a hat-rack of a dozen different ballcaps. 


more flying

stalls and surges.

to and over snow-covered mountains.

dream: sewage problem mom's

not her actual place.

brown water at first.

drawing her attention to the situation.

she leaves her room.

and then a mudslide.

but not mud.

straight through then house like a lava flow.

I got stained in the early stages.

dream: more cat (mostly kitten) herding

reckon i'll just keep logging them as they occur.

more here, and a pied piper theme.

they sure take to me.

little ones.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

boots 155: doc 1 dialogue revisited

[carson in therapy. MEET DOC.  meditative space, southwest feel, minimalist yet cozy. carson in recliner, aimed at an aquarium teeming with (yes, teeeeming) tropical fish. doc seated behind him in an old-days grade school desk/chair. one leg over the other, occasionally writing notes on a legal pad. MALE, MID-60's. fresh jeans, casual-elegant leather shoes, socks that match his long-sleeve button-up shirt, belt that matches his shoes. long hair back in a ponytail. behind and over carson's shoulder, maybe ten feet away. behind doc, a tinted window to an intimate courtyard featuring a fountain, the faint gurgling of which we barely hear with the bubbling of the aquarium. carson in recline, legs crossed at the ankles, the fingers of his hands interlocked over his abdomen.]

doc: does he work?

carson: retired. greyhound bus driver for thirty-six years.


doc: you'll be staying in touch?

carson: seems that way. yes.


doc: well, well.

carson: yeah.

doc: quite a development.

carson: quite.

doc: carson, I'd happily extend this but I have a two-thirty.

carson: we'll pick it up next week.

doc: I'll be looking forward to it.



dream: ms. brown, mystery woman

I am seated at a table, turning to my left to note the arrival of a woman who has returned for her purse, situated on the floor under my chair.

I do not get a chance to look up to see her face; the dream ends.

But I do note the leather purse, shoes, and her dress, all different shades of brown. The purse was quite handsome, I thought, and likely cost a pretty penny.

Had she been sitting in the chair I was in?


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

more aural/visual synchronicity: "this guy"

i voiced "this guy,"  thinking about somebody, just as i looked up to see "this guy" lead the text (for the hearing-impaired) at the bottom of the tv screen above my seat at The Counter.

sorta wished i'd started writing these down when i first began to notice them (many years ago).

first time my voice has been the sound in the mix. 

Yi 64: prayer

been lazy lately, getting away from it.

Monday, May 23, 2016

boots: square dance

in black.


caller:let's join your hands in the ring and circle to the left...  

fade in.

square dance on a floor laid out in a high school gymnasium.

laramie lancers.

four squares. (eight people - four couples - per square.) 

caller and fiddler.

all dancers 60- or 70-somethings in traditional attire.

smiles and lights reflected off spectacles.

do-si-dos and swinging partners and allemandes and promenades and sashays.

feature tom and wanda when they do-si-do to bow and swing out of frame.



dream wolf pups

and mama wolf standing nearby, staring back at me.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

weekend: SLO, softball, paul read

SLO yesterday. 'specially satisfying.

softball today, like last sunday, at stoner.

last week: hamstring (again and again). today: groin. add a strikeout.


this is slow-spitch softball.

no explanation.

i don't want to talk about it.


i saw paul read again. other team. he didn't recognize me. the beard.

i'm'on' email him. meet up sometime.

middle of the damn plate.

paralyzed or something.


gotta let it go.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

white feather in hallway again

this morning.

different feather.

boots 154: final beats 58-70

58. ambulance, gurney, police, chloe clinging to carson.
59. carson staring at tom's phone, startled by wanda's ringtone. he answers. wanda receiving the news. carson putting the phone down. stares at tom's boots and hat. chloe enters.
60. doc 2.
61. carson fueling tom's truck. watches son dad flip keys to pleasd son.
62. carson enter kerrville.
63. virginia wanda porch. sound of truck's engine. carson driving up. gets out of truck with urn. hands  it to wanda. virginia opens door.
64. carson virginia wanda kitchen table night.
65. carson phone chloe. enter wanda.
66. johnson creek ashes.
67. porch ice cream night rain.
68. doc 3.
69. jackie carson dvd.
70. chloe truck SLO.
71. chloe friend, hit the brakes at the coast.  CD from under seat. their ringtone. the pacific ocean.

fade to black


just left santa barbara station on way to SLO. will celebrate with lunch and a couple pints and start typing into final monday morning. plays out to the page count range i had figured.


boots 153: final beats 39-57

39. tom makes breakfast. short order story. chloe's suggestion horseback.
40. virginia gets tom's call. her big smile. you better take pictures.
41. carson on phone with jackie about another horse. tom enters. thumbs-up.
42. garage carson chloe tom. tom's truck. jackie arrive. intros and away.
43. white sands.
44. mescalero.
45. bonito lake.
46. trailhead. meet randi, about the ride, saddle up.
47. creekside.  cuh-lip cuh-lop parade. tom aiming his camera phone, chloe turns, smile.
48. climb out of the woods.
49. crest trail summit. the view. selfies.
50. wanda ride home with friend.
50. trailhead. tom loading last horse into trailer. now to ruidoso.
51. ruidoso restaurant chloe camera. tom recognized by victor vaquero, who has a tom story.
52. san augustin pass sunset. chloe gets the keys.
53. arrive carson's. jackie leaves.
54. wanda on phone with tom.
55. carson and chloe, tom enters. gratitude and staying in touch. goodnights.
56. tom enters room.
57. carson woken by cat. discovery. chloe. 

boots 152: final beats 20-38

[19. carson tom 1]

20. carson and jackie.
21. tom tour call wanda garden.
22. carson garage, ponder.
23. tom patio. who told you about me.
24. carson tom table. chloe calls. chloe and barbara (mom) chloe's room. tom table. carson returns. how often do you get to see her...arrives tomorrow. going to nova scotia. breakfast tomorrow.
25. tom call wanda tv. boots off. on virginia. lights off.
26. carson and the photo booth photo: tom and caroline (carson's mother). chloe calls, computer, has pulled up tom's info. carson and plans to email. would you like to meet him.
27. tom's dream. wakes to breakfast sizzling.
28. carson kitchen cooking. carson's invitation.
29. meet virginia with company. tom's call. virginia's support. tom's appreciation.
30. doc 1.
31. tom call wanda waiting for ride. honk honk.
32. carson chloe airport parking.
33. tom asleep rodeo tv, carson and chloe doorway.
34. carson and chloe scrabble. ruidoso tomorrow. tom's bootsteps. intros.
35. wanda hawaii brochure. tom's call.
36. barbara home office, photo, chloe's call.
37. jackie home, carson's call.
38. tom in room. wallet photo of ruth. lights out.

boots 151: final beats 1-19

1 square dance. tom and wanda.
2. diner. hawaii. truck.
3. arrive home, into house.
4. the call. 
5. in bed.
6. tom leaves.
7. calls from road. wanda folding his square dance shirt.
8. tom arrive abq motel
9. tom removes boots. motel tv: shane. click. shower.
10. tom leave abq motel.
11. tom las cruces exit.
12. fuel station. father and son. tom flips coin.
13. tom near carson's.
14. carson.
15. kitchen, driveway, tom's drive-by.
16. tom idling, pondering.
17. carson garage doorbell.
18. howdy. my name is tom walker.
19. greetings.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

dear Yi

how many flowers have i inquired about?
how many dreams have brought me to Yi,
asking when rain might relieve the drought,
or of the good in the fruit at the top of the tree?

how many conundrums and contradictions
have i brought to Yi to help me sort
the cold hard fact from slipp'ry fiction
that would kill my case in any court?

how many times have i brought my query
to Yi for answers or at least suggestions?
how long ago was it when Yi grew weary
of the different forms of the same old questions?

how many millions of answers have Yi
pulled from the dust of your library's  shelves
to offer like food to others like me,
barely aware we are feeding ourselves?

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Yi 63: my mountain climb


fentress tx



boots 150: the river final (form)

ext johnson creek kerrville day

wanda and virginia in, pants rolled up to knees. hats to shield the sun.

standing next to each other, practically joined.

each with an urn in her hands, their back to the modest current of a calm and sunlit stretch of shallow water

carson downstream, pants rolled up, ballcap and sunglasses, pulling phone from back pocket.

shoes and purses on the bank.


C so I guess Johnson creek here joins the Guadalupe.

V it sure does, right below thirty-nine, and onto san antonio bay and the gulf of mexico. but I bet you knew that.

C i looked it up.

V ever been to the gulf?

C Freeport.

V alright. when were you there what were you doing? 

C fishing. visiting a friend in Houston, a few years ago. .

W tom would come here to fish.

C right here.


W yep.

V last time y'all were down he brought back that big catfish.

C when was this?

W oh, when was that?

V it'll be two years in april.

W that's right.

C always catfish?

V oh no, there's Guadalupe bass in here.

C really.

W tom's fishin' gear is in the garage, least it was...

V still there. you oughta come back and give it a go.

C really.

V I'm sure it'd be fine. i'll go ahead and ask fred but i knew he'd be happy to have you. 

W i know me'n Virginia will be takin' a nap later on. 

C i might take you up on that.

V hope you do.

W well.

V well.

W guess we should do this.

V it is gettin' a little hot.  





classical music lobby this morning

classical music on the sound in the building lobby walking in this morning.

no idea why it's sometimes there, usually not.

it always adds to the start of my morning, some kind of reminder.

sort of settles things, if things are roiled.


her brother's video, revisited

in his video, they are at the base of a mountain, about to set foot on its steep trail. 

a small crowd has gathered 'round for the occasion, seemingly ceremonial.

perhaps a first ascent?

the sun seems to be shining especially on them, holding hands, about to begin the hike. 

someone is saying something I can't really make out, but it seems close enough good luck, have a great climb. tell us about the view from the top. send selfies.

i don't know, I really couldn't hear him. 

collective yay at the end and so they sat foot upon the path.


thus the query re: "subsequent."



my cat Z

lately my bed makes the sound he would effect when jumping up onto it, and there is the slightest sense of pressure.

dreamt the other night I was walking along and heard my name called twice and turned to see him, staring up at me wide-eyed.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

boots 149: kerrville: dining room


carson and wanda and virginia around the table. carson nursing a coffee, teabags in the the women's cups.

rain patters at the window. occasional distant thunder. an old clock on the wall tics off the seconds, barely audibly.   

about the weather. storm up from the gulf.

virginia expresses her curiosity about how tom had introduced - "described"- her relationship with ruth. carson tells her, continues that almost everything they talked about was on the introductory level, with plans to pick up later.

he expresses his curiosity about how they met.

virginia tells him. faculty float down the medina river. segues  - speaking of rivers - into down early to the guadalupe with the ashes. then I thought we might head up to fredericksburg for brunch. there's a little place they all liked to go. wanda's happy to hear they've stayed in business. carson's full approval.

virginia excuses herself, sniffling, into the kitchen, sobbing started. wanda excuses herself.

we been takin' turns cryin'.

carson sits with his coffee. lightning lights the limbs of the big oak tree on the other side of the window. rain falls heavier. thunder closer.


boots 148: kerrville final beats

carson driving through town, crossing the river.

wanda and virginia on the porch. carson arrives.

coffee at kitchen table (with urns). how ruth and virginia met. river early (tomorrow morning).

carson phone with jackie. wanda and virginia napping. on dinner and homemade ice cream. jackie is editing what she shot in rui. carson comes across a photo of ruth and tom.

front porch. storm up from the gulf. peach ice cream.

the river. the ashes. thunder. rain.

carson leaving.

[carson doc 3

carson jackie, the dvd she's made

chloe barbara SLO and truck

chloe and ashes into ocean

fade to black] 

run 3

sp: 5

incl: start at 6, to 6.5 at 1 mi. to 5.5 at 3 mi.

a grind.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Yi 62: boots: the time it's taken


boots 147: road to rui chloe tom hawaii

CHLOE dad said you're going to hawaii

TOM Yes ma'am, me'n my wife're goin' in november.


yes ma'am.

dad said you don't like flying.

I don't. but I'm doin' it.

done it before?

I have. once.

when, where and why?

when. well, golly, fifty-somethin' years anyway. I was twenty years old. flew from dallas to reno for a rodeo. 

were you in the rodeo?

I was.

doing what?

calf ropin'. some bareback ridin'. you been to hawaii?

three times. what island.

Oahu. we're stayin' in Waikiki.

that's where I learned to surf.

how old were ya?


so you been at it awhile.


CHLOE been there before?

no ma'am, neither of us.

what's the occasion.

well. sort of a second honeymoon I guess.

that's sweet. are you going to a luau?

oh a couple I think. my wife's got a list goin'.



what else?

well. a sunset cruise and dinner. I think we might rent a car and head up to, what's it called, you'd know it, the big surf spot.


that's it.

it's a nice drive.

you been there.


T CONT'D have you surfed there?


but it wasn't very big.

CARSON just twelve feet.  

TOM twelve feet sounds pretty big enough to me.

CARSON there are pictures. i'll show you when we get home.

TOM cool.


Sunday, May 15, 2016

boots 146: bonito lake talking points

driving around the lake. bonito lake. a reservoir, fed by bonito creek, which will be part of the horseback ride. nearing the trailhead. tom asks chloe when she was last on a horse. dude ranch with dad last summer. previous experience, including the donkey ride into the grand canyon. tom never did do that. chloe: there's still time. jackie asks tom when he was last on a horse. his rides with wanda on friends' ranch.

boots 145: mescalero talking points

the church.

the tribe, reservation and casino.

the elevation. snow. ski apache. chloe snowboards.

tom's heard she does a little surfing, too.

chloe nods.

more flight (and adobe) dream

i'm actively rotated - like, "turn this way" - a quarter-turn so as to face - to SEE - the group of adobe homes in the distance. they are the color of light mud, beige-brown. mountains in the distance beyond them. i tell myself to take a good look and not forget this.

i think i'll fly for a closer look.

up up and away, high above them - village of them - in the southwest desert landscape you'd find such a community.

and then, having had that look, other places, and more learning-to-fly practice.

noting that people, when i flew durectly above them, did not notice me. i actually called out a couple times, "can you see me?"

not. which i thought interesting.

noted the full moon.

navigated a tunnel and came upon a lost soul type who reached and grabbed me. he was standing, i was kind of hovering. knocked his hand away and told him not to touch me.


ended flyimg over a great river that ran through a big city. big boats upon it, and small. bridges.

oh yes, almost forgot the episode of flying through, then finally above (and well behond) power lines when i lifted awy from a brief stop in a convenience store in the city.

don't know. just knew i didn't like it and i left. up up and away again.

not the first time i've seen this adobe neighborhood, color of thr patches of earth around them.

but, like, aimed at them this time. full-on and flyover.

"look." or something.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

boots 144: meet tom's truck

Exterior Carson's house, the driveway. Garage door opens. Carson and Chloe and Tom, who admires Carson's car. Chloe asks about Tom's truck. Tom leads her to it while Carson backs the car out of the garage to the street, parks it.

On the way to the truck Tom asks Chloe if she's met Jackie before.

Once. I came out for spring break, about a month after they met. She's cool. So's your truck.

Well thankya.

What year is it?


Bought it original?

I did.

How many miles?

Little over two-hundred thousand, and most a them put on the first dozen years or so. 

Tom pulls keys from pocket.

Four-wheel drive?

Four-wheel drive. Why don'tcha hop on in and start her up?



Carson, parking and taking the top down, watches Tom open the driver's side door and Chloe hop into the driver's seat. Carson gets out, approaches the truck.

Chloe in the driver's seat, taking in the cab. Carson's approach visible in the rear- and side-view mirrors.

Everything's original, 'cept for the seat. Had that reupholstered a couple years ago. 

We hear Carson's footsteps.


Been gettin' around fine without it so far.  

Tom hands her the keys, singles out the correct one. Carson arrives.

Tom said I could start the engine.

CARSON: Well then what're ya waitin' for?

TOM: Lemmee just make sure we're in neutral here. Chloe, if you'd put your foot down on the clutch there, far left pedal, press it to the floor and excuse me while I reach over ya.

He checks to make sure the stick is in neutral.

CARSON: And the five-speed. Sweet.

TOM: Alright, good to go. 

She inserts the key, starts it up. The gurgle-gargle of the diesel.

CHLOE: It sounds different.

CARSON: That's the diesel engine. Sounding very healthy.

TOM: I try to keep up on it.

CARSON: Mind poppin' the hood?

TOM: No sir. Chloe, if you'd pull on that right there, please.

CHLOE: This one?

TOM: Yes, ma'am.

She does, the hood releases. Carson lifts it open, eclipsing himself from Chloe's view. Tom goes 'round to join Carson.

Carson and Tom looking under the hood at a well-maintained engine.


TOM: I take care a it, it takes care a me.

Chloe at the wheel, fishes her phone from a pocket. aims it at the hood, waiting. Finally Carson drops the hood and he and Tom fill the frame of her camera. She snaps a shot, both men staring back at her. She smiles, puts her phone back, turns off the engine, gets out of the truck, closes the door, hands keys back to Tom.

CHLOE: Thank you very much.

TOM: My pleasure.

CARSON: Heeeeeeeere's Jackie.

All turn to see a car approaching. Carson walks to the driveway and, like a worker on the tarmac waving directions to a pilot, he signals her compact hybrid into the garage.

She parks it, gets out, Carson greets her with a kiss, they come to the driveway to meet Chloe and Tom as the garage door closes. 

Introductions (specifics on that later), into Carson's car, top down, they drive away out of view.


dream: the mysterious tall blonde woman: a name.

it has been awhile, and this time hair white-blonder than ever, shimmering platinum. (to make sure, I think, that I get it: blonde!)

I had flown (see previous post) to her outside patio, a high-rise residence, and she was way up there.

I landed - she seemed not the least bit surprised - and we stood a couple feet apart from each other.

black leather skirt, black and white everything else.

but hell if I can ever get a complete picture of this one 'cause though we're up close as never previously, and the picture is sharper, no soft-focus blur-obscure, but her bangs hang down over her eyes like curtains, and i can barely detetct a flash of ice-blue, like light through cracks.

and I can feel that they are rapt upon me, and now that I recall that I recall as well looking up at her.

she is again - as always, or close to always - taller than I am.

tres chic, fo sho.

and judging by the fashion and location, she's got a couple pretty pennies.

new york?

oh yeah. another thing. she's got a medallion-sorta something-or-other on her necklace. it's silver. or silver-colored. stylized (gothicish, sort or somehow "witchy") text that I make out as "mojave."

I ask: "mojave?"

whether or not she's correcting my guess or telling me her name, she says:



more flight dream

"waking" in a dream to being in a dream.

hey. this is a dream. I'm gonna fly.

hands aimed like an arrowhead at the sky, some pressure on the will-to pedal, whoosh.

higher and faster than ever, and more getting used to and "playing" with aerodynamics via body position, feet and hands as flaps and such. a couple swoop-downs to veer (to the right) up a coastline, low to the water. 

more white feathers

white feather in my hallway when I got home yesterday.

i'm leaving it there.

a few of note lately but this the most recent and loudest.

Thursday, May 12, 2016